#18 THE REBIRTH!

...

[ CONTENT IS BASED AT ABOUT 12+ THERE MAY BE REFERENCES TO 'THINGS']

Wow its been almost a year since I promised and I quote "I will post every Friday" well, that went well.

So its a brand new do-over for my blog. its still going to be your mildly amusing top-up of all things comical, with a twist. News. You heard of it? well there's going to be a funny news section where I talk about the more 'Funny' side of the worlds news so I will start that later in this post. So the main reason to start up this dead blog is... I want to create joy. Even if I spend 4 years writing to the internet and in all that time just one person sniggers  or merely chuckles at this then I will be happy.(I just thought I would mention this was not intended on being funny just an update)

Funny News:
Man sets "Masturbate mode" off on his new prosthetic arm on a French chat show:
Source:http://metro.co.uk/2014/11/20/guy-accidentally-hits-masturbate-mode-on-his-fake-arm-during-tv-interview-4956434/

So this is 3 days old, and while having a interview on the Le Dézapping a French chat show a unknown Hero? Warrior? Heavy Masturbator? Whatever. He is demonstrating a his new prosthetic lib when he hit the wrong button ands starts going at it like a monkey in a mango tree.

This is most likely fake as the on the lefts hair, looks like a mop from QVC. ( I later found that it was a hoax)

By the way I wrote a 2 page blog about what had gone on but never closed it so I tried

Anyway that's all I have time for right now but see you around,
Thanks for reading?
come back and follow me for more,
Tom Green,

#16 Sorry...

Evening all,
SORRY!, OK IM SORRY. I said I will  post content every Friday but I felt like a time frame was limiting my creativity so to keep up with the latest content follow me on Google + and I will share it every time I post (roughly every week) so do that thing.


IT IS THE END OF TERM! tomorrow,
so to celebrate I am going to stay up all night doing something EG: YouTube or Watch films I don't know but tonight I am going to bed at a measly 10pm. So changing the subject slightly on Sunday the clocks  moved back one hour? so Monday morning came and I was so grumpy when the alarm rang... it was almost a repeat of the 'Alarm Clock Incident' (read previous post for more information on that story.)

Anyway see you around,
Follow for more,
Tom

Your Decision...

So,
its not a normal post (as you may have guest) because im giving you the viewer a choise. you may have noticed every since day one of posting the quality has gone downhill. Before you worry (or celebrate) im not quiting its just i feel if i posted only once or twice a week i could give you more comicle? content. So please if you enjoy this please comment saying weather you think its a good idea.
i will test it out and have it posted by friday evening.

that's all I got so talk to you friday same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#15 Canceled... Again

Evening all,
so im posting earlier than usual because my bandwith is an ABOMINATION so if anyone from a network company and want to give me a free fibre package... just if you enjoy this sooo much than you can donate a package...
moving on today,

So you may have seen by the title i said that something was canceled today and you comited viewers will know that the first? second? post? i said Sex Ed was canceled and i also said it was re-sceduled to the distent future. Which was today. It was canceled.

:'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(

im so sad.

so trying to forget that

sorry i will write more tomorrow,

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

14# Dental Pro

Evening all,
so im very sorry about not posting yesterday or Sunday but im tired and sometimes I need a break.
ok so lets get started,

On Saturday and half of Sunday I went hiking. So that's why I didn't post. So I had a great time and enjoyed the experience so I think I will do that again sometime. That may be one of the reasons I am tired because it was roughly 20 miles! Non-stop! For two days! Now can you forgive me for not posting? anyway the group I was with went back to a hall to hang up the tents and as we get there we just heard the fait drone of small children and as i get closer my worst fears came true... it was a 6 year olds birthday party!
so we had fun explaining to the parents that they still had and hour before there party.

So im a lazy person,
you guys know that. But yesterday i went to the dentist and the only reason i remembered was i got a E-Mail the day before. Some how i passed with flying colors even though i barely brushed them
Sorry its a bit dull im just tired,

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#13 See y'a round!

Hello,
So you may have seen the title and thought 'hes a quiter, giving up already' but actully im going out for the weekend. So im going backpacking for the weekend so i may or may not (Ooo) be posting tomorrow. So if you really want to hear about my experience then read my blog tomorrow or sunday (16th of March 2014) so look forrward to that.
Sorry, i didn't blog yesterday and i know you can i go on about it i'm sorry i felt it was time to take a break and i needed a break to get some quality content up today.

So today... i did my back in!
1 day before i have to carrie 60 litres worth of food/frying pans? so i, being a drama queen (in the most manley way) ,will be a jerk to be with tommorow. Ive just looked at the time and its 11:30 pm so im going to be in a horrible mood kept up till 2am by load lads.

So, i prepose a contest...
who ever can get the most people to comment on my posts will get a shout-out of there choosing [webpages, facebook ect:]
so tell your people you force to look at the abomination to literature to leave your G+ name.

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#12 Why samsung?

Evening all, So im sorry i couldn't post yesterday but my SD card got damaged for some reason. It was just sitting im my phone then it just breaks. Please if anyone knows if theres a fix because its not visibly damaged. i blame samsung because they have failed me before...

Anyway moving on, so today Sex Ed got officially moved to next thursday (20th of march 2014) at around two O'clock. But if you read my previous posts you will know i was missing the abomination which is spanish. But now were missing ... Systems + Control :'( ,incase you dont know or its called something different S + C is pissing around with circits for an hour, Why? S + C is fun! and i think worst thing is the rest of the day is terrible

So this is taking longer because i'm listening to podcasts service known as 'Hat Chat'. Its three of my favorite Youtubers talking for an hour.
they mentioned munting if you have a strong stomach watch this:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=munting
Yewwwww!
gross!

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#11 Meerkat war-paint

Evening all,
So today i went to a widlife park! now everyone has been to a wildlife park but this time i went with my dog. so i will tell you more about that later on in the blog but first a story..
So a few months back my dogs hydrotherapist (swimming instructor) told a story about when they toke there dog to the same place. Now this is one of thoose zoos where they have so low walls to the enclosures you could just jump over yourself.
so hydrotherapist's dog got out of his lead and jumped the wall. So this is quite an agressive dog so it killed a meerkat and shoke it to death, smuthering the dog in blood. Now this is a horrible story but imagine a poor boy twitching thinking about what could happen if she got lose.
Anyway back in real world i had a nice day and its so hot right now so im going to sleep
so,... see you tommorow

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#10 Why is it so hot?

Morning all,
I say morning because im writing this at 11:30 so i guess i will have this posted at mid-night. so i its late and ive had a LOT of caffine so lets get going!

so im still feeling a little bit bad still because if you have not read previous blogs then firstly: READ THEM! secondly: i was ill and i am still in the aftermath of it.

otherwise today not much has happened but i had to go to town! *groans* and redo my passport (sarcasticly)! *shootsself* i had to do it but it wasted a hour of my day.
Also ive been OUTSIDE! I can tell your confused but incase you dont live in brittan or are really un-observent its sunny! earlier in the day i was happy and enjoying the weather but now... im so hot!
were in Brittan!
the weather should be horrible!

so again the content is lacking today but tommorow i will be going out and then i have a rellated 'funny' story
by the way: i didnt post yesterday because i posted on wednesday as extra content so toke a break.

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#9 GOOGLE GIVE ME MONEYZ!

Evening all,
so if you have seen my previous blog then you will know that im ill (*awww*) so it has to be short because i feel terrible.

so since i have not been to school i have been messing around with blogger and (again) tryed to activate Adsense. There is alot of waiting for google and alot of servies but im still waiting for a response. Anyway moving on
so i just spent 10 minutes writeing a section which was rambling rubish so i deleted that and now have to remember something good to tell you.

So um... i made a sandwich,
it was delisious.
...
...
WOW i had a boring day. sorry!

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#8 [EXTRA] Peter and his two amigos

HELLO ALL!,
Suprised to see me on this fine wednesday! well im ill so i cant go out :'(. On the plus side i get to post to you!

So guys know when sometimes i feel like telling you the funniest news story that is out recently i have a real good one for today! So a man in japan served his male genitalia to his party guests!

22 year old Moa Sugiyama, served his own penis (voulterly) with mushrooms and parsley to his party guests,
He sold each slice at £160 and only 6 of his guests tryed it. So to gain almost a £1000 he lost his penis! its not even like hes old and/or alone hes a partying 22 year old old with his entire, penis-less, life ahead of him!

anyway moving on,
my illness, so its been doing around my area it's one of those illnesses where you feel like you going to be  sick  but are not actully so its horrible. By 11 O'clock i just had a nap which made me feel worse .

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#7 NO SUPRISES

Evening all,
so last episode i said i was going to tell you a story about how are 'broke' my alarm clock.
so 4:15 on saturday morning my alarm clock goes off. So as any tired teenager would do i through it at the wall, the worst thing is it didn't stop ringing so i got up and curb-stomped it.

So theres the story,
moving on theres a war begining
,*overdramaticmusic*,
me and my friends are doing a blog war, of you like my blog check it out in the link below

LINK: www.blogwars-t.blogspot.com

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#6 :'(

Nooooooo...
I completed the main storyline on batman arkham origins...
it was amazing and after about 12
hours of gameplay it's all over.
so i guess i'll go outside now i don't know, actually go outside. by the way i do play sport a lot but it's table tennis, search actully that active but what were you expecting?

i had really bad sleep last night i whent to bed at 11:30 and couldn't get to sleep for an hour and had to wake up at 7:00, 7? no teen should have enjure that. the worst thing is that the way it is done which (for me) is just the light beening hit on... then off until its a blur.
the reason for it is my alarm clock is 'brocken'
... il tell that story tomorrow. Ha! i gave you motive to subscribe!

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#5 Spunk Muffin

i just want to say that ti day we hit 50 views on my blog i'm amazed anyone still viewing this so thank you if you are.

anyway on to the main subject i saw some funny news today would have thought i'd share with you guys. 16 year old boy gave his classmates a 'Spunk Muffin'. What?! the classmate ate the whole muffin before he was told. the boy was arested for damaging him?
ok so HOW CAN YOU EAT A WHOLE SEMEN FILLED MUFFIN AND NOT TASTE  A DIFFERENCE? you have got to be pretty dumb to eat it.

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#4 Dem Batman blues

Morrning everyone!,
i was going to post last night around 12:30 but i said 'cba i will do it in the morning' and that time is now!

So right now im posting from my phone! its a Samsung Galexy Y from 2 or 3 years ago. So how do you like it? i dont think you can tell the difference but it is taking a lot longer. Im posting from my phone purely because my laptop is downstairs also i would need to turn it on aswell so im not going down there.

So last episode i said 'yeah, so batman arkam origins arrived' and after that i said nothing of it. (for previous players) i was on the 'final offer' and it had been pretty buggy up to now so im climbing up a spiral of ledges then when im up im looking around and cant see were to go. so i restart the mission, get there then find out it dosent work so i decide to RESTART the game get there, and i was quite deep in, then i cant get any further than last time so I RESTART AGAIN!, so i got to the same point again cant find the way forroward SO FINNALY
i look at a walkthrough and find a little ledge!
i was SO PISSED OF!

that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#3 ESO waiting and all-nighter

Evening all,
Tonight the Elder Scrolls Online Beta launches at 11.59 so guess what I am doing! (I am staying up all night waiting) So its not going to be a particularly long post so lets get going!

so.. Today has been uneventful, so I will tell you what I am doing right  now, so I've recently got into the show Two and Half men which is a comedy on at 8pm on ITV 2 and its in my opinion Hilarious! its just my kind of humour, witty sex based jokes and funny stories.
so I've just finished an episode of that and are moving on to the second,

on another note 'Batman Arkam Origins' has arrived!
I finally ordered it and within 5 days it came so that ought to entertain me for a bit this evening,

So again sorry its so short and less comical than normal but I just don't feel like a long type-fest this evening,

so that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#2 Sex Ed incident and Wednesday Breaks

Evening / morning, whatever,
ANNONCMENT: Sorry guys I forgot I told you I can post everyday I CANT do Wednesdays so sorry about yesterday but anyone to the main chat.

So today is SEX-ED DAY!,
You may thing is this guy a Pervert?, No
Is he some sort of crazed sex obsesse?, No
We miss *drum roll*..............................................................*still drum rolling*...................................................................................................*You may thing its ridiculous*......... SPANISH!

SPANISH MOST BORING LESSON EVER!, so I am walking to school with a skip in my step all groovy then I arrive... step into the room... see the glum faces and ask "So who died?", someone replies "I wish it was me" then im told it.. its CANCELLED,

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY ME?

So drama over it terns out that the teacher came in with 'Man Flu' which as a 'small' man I know that's just an excuse for sympathy. He said he would TIRE OUT! Excuse me? so he's saying showing us putting a Com-Dom on a banana will make him tired! probably the most ironic thing is he's a P.E (Phys Ed) teacher in his late 30's so he should be back up on is his feat and teaching us what a penis does instead of chilling in the staff lounge.

One of the worst parts is the girls did there's yesterday and apparently its a hilarious experience. On the plus side a group with a few of my mates in misted it because the teacher, Mr Sucksmith ( Honestly that's is name you cant make that stuff up), was also ill so they felt the pain of Spanish as well,

ok that's all I got so talk to you tomorrow same time same place,
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

#1 Awkward moments

Evening all,

Today I had an 'awkward' experience with a pair of tights and a group
school friends.

So you may or may not know that its only been 2 days for the majority off secondary or 'middle schools',depending on were your from, open after half term and today we had Phys Ed (P.E).

And being a forgetful idiot I forgot my kit. Now you may not have this problem but our spare kit is TERRIBLE (trying to keep the language clean) so when the teacher pulls out MAN TIGHTS! OR MIGHTS AS IL CALL THEM! I think oh hell!

So first of all its not that bad me and my friends have a laugh and its all lovely and happy... until I see I huge hole in the bottom of them now, by now I am walking out to the gym and are get dragged with the crowd. Remember I said its a new term... that means a new topic so instead of doing harmless football we do TRAMPOLINING! which is making my 3rd leg vulnerable, with its only defence being the weak layer of fabric being my boxers/ underwear.

so after an intro were the teacher talks about safety like 'don't jump on your neck or you'll die' which I thought to a bunch of early teens was obvious but  I guess I am wrong (again).
Now I've stopped going of on tandem,
it gets worse, far far worse.
Now these tights are not as tight as you would have thought let my Johnson 'lose' which made me spin around trying to save my self from the awkwardness which was quite obviously a failure or I wouldn't make such a build up,
So you know how people always make the worst nicknames at the worst points, well mine is 'Little Johnny' or 'John' now.

So what I want to know is what is your most embarrassing situation?
has it effected you for along time EG: Nicknames or maybe being forever reminded of the moment?
Tell me in the comments,
so I will talk to you (I Guess you can call this that) same time tomorrow
Subscribe if you enjoy!
Tom,

    

[Intro and info to my blog]

Hello,
Waz up? (or What is up)
This is my first post on my blog about... well anything that happens and I feel like blogging about


More about me:
Name: Tom Green,
Age: 26/2 or 13,
*roughly here* ====>  🌎 (Earth)


So if you know me/like my blog then follow me on google + and check my blog daily for a quick update. Subscribe to my YouTube channel ( which there's nothing on currently) which will be gaming based. (Insert Doncaster accent) Soo sit back read wit faace and ent-joy!
My YouTube account: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheFlamingHam
Steam Group:
http://steamcommunity.com/groups/TheFlamingHam
Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/theflaminghamteam?ref=stream

And just to please a friend, Why don't download Agent X, Chemical Allie or any other games by Overpass apps ( Android and Apple devices)
Website:
http://www.overpass.co.uk/
Google play:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/developer?id=Overpass+Apps&hl=en_GB
Apple app store:
APPLE IS SO INCOMPATABLE!

What a nice final message,
Tom G,
PS: they wont all be this long just an intro to me and my blog